NLP

1001. eng Seven "Keys" to Personal Change
1002. eng Ten Years of NLP Bobby G.
1003. eng Bodenhamer, D.Min.
1004. eng For the past ten years I have poured my life into learning NLP and applying it in the therapeutic, teaching and writing world.
1005. eng Over the past ten years I have had the honor of working with approximately 600 therapy clients involving approximately 3000 hours of therapy.
1006. eng I have also had the unique privilege of teaching NLP at Gaston College for the past seven and one-half years.
1007. eng In addition I have taught seven Practitioner Certification Courses and four Master Practitioner Courses.
1008. eng The numbers of one-session seminars I have led are too numerous to count.
1009. eng Needless to say, the past ten years have been quite eventful.
1010. eng What a joy and privilege life has afforded me with all the above experiences.
1011. eng Well, so what?
1012. eng That is a question I have been asking myself.
1013. eng So what?
1014. eng If I were to take all the above and summarize it down to its essence (according to Bob of course), how would I summarize what I have learned into one article?
1015. eng Now, since the major thrust of the work I do involves assisting therapy clients and class participants toward positive change, I will direct the following remarks to what I believe is the essence of personal change from the structural viewpoint of NLP and Meta-States as developed my L.
1016. eng Michael Hall, Ph.D.
1017. eng We call the merged fields of NLP and Meta States, Neuro-Semantics.
1018. eng What were the key elements in the lives of those countless hundreds whom it has been my privilege to work with that brought about positive changes in their lives?
1019. eng Seven Key Structural Elements Involved in Personal Change: In this article I will provide the groundwork by defining some basic beliefs we have in Neuro-Semantics about just “how” your brain works.
1020. eng Note the word “how.”
1021. eng That word is important.
1022. eng In Neuro-Semantics we place prime importance on the mental processes that determine behavior.
1023. eng What do you do inside your head in order to have a problem and what do you have to do inside your head in order to “fix” your problem?
1024. eng What kind of pictures, feelings, sounds and word meanings do you need inside your head in order to do the problem?
1025. eng What kind of pictures, feelings, sounds and word meanings do you need to activate in your head in order to not to have the problem?
1026. eng By the way, we believe that brains aren’t broken; they just run sick thought patterns really well.
1027. eng Indeed, the brain doesn’t care whether or not you think yourself sick or whether you think yourself well.
1028. eng Your brain just does what you tell it to do.
1029. eng This is what this article is about.
1030. eng Those who change their thinking understand and accept these beliefs: 1.
1031. eng The brain primarily processes information from the outside world through the five senses.
1032. eng You experience your world through what you see, hear, feel, smell and taste.
1033. eng Now, importantly to Neuro-Semantics, we believe that when you re-present your world on the screen of your consciousness, you utilize the same programs involved in the event of recall.
1034. eng When you recall something you have seen before, you will recall it with a picture (Visual).
1035. eng When you recall something you have heard before, you will recall it with remembered sounds (Auditory).
1036. eng The same is true for feelings (Kinesthetic), smells (Olfactory) and tastes (Gustatory).
1037. eng We call these the Representational Systems or VAK for short.
1038. eng Your brain not only does this with remembered experiences, it does the same with constructed experiences.
1039. eng I can ask you to imagine seeing yourself where you want to be one year from now.
1040. eng Your brain knows how to construct a picture of the desired you one year from now.
1041. eng Now, these experiences we re-present on the screen of our minds (images) often contain more than just one system.
1042. eng We can recall a picture and also have sounds with it as well as feelings.
1043. eng Furthermore, these images have finer qualities.
1044. eng Usually images that we hold as very important to us will be very close to our eyes visually.
1045. eng They will often be very bright and colorful to let us know this image is important.
1046. eng 2.
1047. eng The brain gives meaning to these images with words.
1048. eng So, I have pictures, feelings, sounds, smells and tastes in my mind, so what?
1049. eng Your brain doesn’t stop there, as a thinking class of life; the human brain has the marvelous ability of giving meaning to these images with words.
1050. eng These words are “about” the images composed of pictures, sounds, feelings, smells and/or taste.
1051. eng 3.
1052. eng The brain doesn’t stop at just the first level of word meaning you gave to the image.
1053. eng Your brain keeps having thoughts (primarily with words) about thoughts.
1054. eng The brain does not stop at one thought, it continues having thoughts about thoughts and there is where the “magic” lies.
1055. eng In Neuro-Semantics we realize that as important as Representation is, there is yet something more powerful and more magical¾ Reference.
1056. eng That's how the brain works.
1057. eng It starts with a referent experience, the event.
1058. eng Something happens.
1059. eng Then we re-present it on the screen of our mind with the Representational System (VAKOG).
1060. eng But by reflexive awareness, we develop a thought and a feeling ABOUT it, now we have our first frame of reference.
1061. eng 4.
1062. eng Repeating thoughts will create unconscious frames-of-mind that will direct our consciousness to the five to nine items we can focus on.
1063. eng These frames of mind operate inside our head totally outside of consciousness.
1064. eng Our brains do not stop at just one thought.
1065. eng It will keep on thinking thoughts about thoughts.
1066. eng These thoughts about thoughts when habituated (drop into the unconscious) become our Frames of Mind¾our perceptual filters through which we view our world.
1067. eng These frames become like eyeglasses through which we view and experience our world.
1068. eng And that doesn't end it.
1069. eng We develop frames-within-frames, each frame embedded in another frame.
1070. eng These higher frames determine our neuro-semantic states that governs the way we think, feel, our health, skills, everything.
1071. eng All the while we are having thoughts about thoughts, these thoughts are interaction with our physiology through our central nervous system and out of that interaction comes what we call “states” of being.
1072. eng And, out of our “states” of being comes our behavior.
1073. eng Thus, “as a man thinketh, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7).
1074. eng These “repeated” unconscious frames of mind become our blessing or our curse.
1075. eng In problem framing, we can have frames of mind that say, “I am worthless.”
1076. eng “I can’t ever do anything right.”
1077. eng “In order for me to have personal worth, I have to do for other people; I am not an OK person in myself.”
1078. eng Etc.
1079. eng Such frames inevitably come from our earlier years and for that reason become quite unconscious and difficult to change on our own.
1080. eng However, they are changeable and they do change for they are just thoughts no matter how much they operate outside of consciousness.
1081. eng In “fixing” ourselves, metaphorically we delete those old frames of mind and install new frames of mind that serve us.
1082. eng This is what Neuro-Semantics is all about.
1083. eng The individuals who make personal changes accept that they have constructed these frames themselves with their internal representations and with the levels, however many, of the meanings that they have given these internal representations.
1084. eng In therapy, I constantly discover old memories of the person hearing dad or mom tell them that they are worthless or that dad or mom was absent in their lives and from that they developed a word meaning frame that “ I must be worthless because dad and/or mom was not here for me.”
1085. eng Etc.
1086. eng Important to personal change is to accept the reality that these frames are constructed and therefore can be de-constructed.
1087. eng 5.
1088. eng People that change believe and are aware that “The Map Is Not The Territory” or “The Menu Is Not The Meal” and they believe it is their map and their map alone that they operate out of.
1089. eng This is another way of saying that our perception is not reality.
1090. eng It is only our perception of it.
1091. eng However, because it is our perception (our Internal Representation and conceptual meanings) it is what we operate from.
1092. eng It doesn’t matter how accurately it maps (perceive) our present reality.
1093. eng We will operate from our perceptions as governed by our higher-level frames of mind.
1094. eng This means: a.
1095. eng Those who change recognize the value of creating a map (perception) that accurately, as far as symbolically possible, maps the present moment.
1096. eng We are a “symbolic class of life.”
1097. eng We do that with the VAKOG and Word meanings acting as “symbols” from our experience of our world through our five senses.
1098. eng But, these are just symbols about our world.
1099. eng They are not the world.
1100. eng We get into trouble when we confuse the two and label our “symbols” as being “real” in the sense that they accurately map out our world.
1101. eng When we consciously or unconsciously operate from frames of mind that we learned in childhood, we certainly are not operating from a map that even comes close to accurately mapping out the adult world we now live in.
1102. eng This is the root of most problems if not all of them.
1103. eng b.
1104. eng Those who change their thinking by recognizing that their map is not the territory will eliminate the problem of cause-effect in their lives.
1105. eng What do I mean?
1106. eng I mean that the individual who understands and accepts that our internal map/perception is not and cannot be the territory (the external world) will stop the foolishness of believing other people control his or her mind without his or her permission.
1107. eng No one can make you believe or feel anything you choose not to believe or feel.
1108. eng Just because we may have grown up in a dysfunctional family does not mean that we are or have to remain a dysfunctional person even if we learned some poor ways to think and behave.
1109. eng We can “own” our own brain, take control of it and learn new ways of thinking.
1110. eng Brains are very flexible.
1111. eng As an example, think of something unpleasant.
1112. eng Now think of something pleasant.
1113. eng Note how rapidly you can change your thinking.
1114. eng Old unwanted patterns of thinking are just habituated thought patterns that “seem real” because they have become unconscious and “feel” real.
1115. eng But, guess what?
1116. eng They can change.
1117. eng Now, many have an “invested” interest in getting you to believe that these thought patterns are “real” and that you can do nothing about them.
1118. eng DON’T BUY THAT LIMITING FRAME.
1119. eng You can change these thought patterns.
1120. eng You can “renew your mind.”
1121. eng You can think on things that are pure, just, right, lovely, etc.
1122. eng Indeed, you can think on anything you choose to think on.
1123. eng Just give yourself permission.
1124. eng c.
1125. eng They recognize that the words and images inside our heads are not “real” in the sense that they are set in concrete - they are changeable.
1126. eng They are just “symbols” of the external world.
1127. eng We have instruments that will detect the nerve cells and the neuro-transmitters that allow one nerve cell to communicate with another nerve cell.
1128. eng However, can neuro-scientist go inside the brain and find/measure a picture, a sound, a feeling or a word?
1129. eng No, they are “abstractions” of the mind hence our conceptual states that are generated at the moment of thought and then they disappear until we think the thought again.
1130. eng Because the images and word meanings inside our head are not “real” in the sense that they are set in concrete, they only have the reality we give them.
1131. eng Consider this, think of a mildly unpleasant memory and note what pops into your mind and how you feel.
1132. eng Now, think of a pleasant memory and notice what pops into your mind and how you feel.
1133. eng Which type thinking best serves you?
1134. eng Why would you want to “create” an image and a thought inside your head that makes you feel bad?
1135. eng Have you ever thought about just not doing that anymore?
1136. eng After all, these thoughts aren’t real unless you generate them.
1137. eng How can we use this knowledge?
1138. eng Simple.
1139. eng Since the thoughts including the decisions inside our heads are just thoughts, we can change them as we will.
1140. eng In other words, if you don’t like a decision you have made, say “no” to it.
1141. eng Apply “no” to the unwanted decision.
1142. eng When you do this you are meta-stating (applying one thought to another.
1143. eng See #7 below.) the unwanted decision with a higher level “no.”
1144. eng What happens when you say “no” to that unwanted decision?
1145. eng Now, create a decision that will serve you and say “yes” to it.
1146. eng Again, you are meta-stating your desired decision with a “yes.”
1147. eng Have you ever thought of this¾ the only difference between a thought and a belief is that a belief is a thought to which you have said, “yes.”
1148. eng A belief is a thought that you have affirmed by saying, “I believe this.
1149. eng This thought is for me.”
1150. eng Now, utilize the same processes of the mind in changing original thoughts by thinking other thoughts about them by saying “no” to the decision/thought you don’t want and “yes” to the decision or thought you do want.
1151. eng How many times do I need to do this?
1152. eng Good question.
1153. eng The brain learns through repetition.
1154. eng Remember how you learned to ride a bicycle or to drive a car?
1155. eng You rehearsed until the knowledge dropped into your unconscious and it became habitual.
1156. eng Do the same thing with saying “no” to what you don’t want and “yes” to what you do want.
1157. eng Every time the decision/thought pops up you don’t want, say “no” to it and then immediately say, “yes” to the one you do want.
1158. eng By doing this you are “breaking” the old unwanted habitual pattern and installing a new direction for your mind to go towards¾ a direction that will best serve you.
1159. eng After all, they are just thoughts so think thoughts that serve you.
1160. eng 6.
1161. eng The awesome power of knowing the difference between associating and dissociating.
1162. eng Before I explain this difference, consider this simple exercise.
1163. eng Imagine yourself walking up to your refrigerator.
1164. eng You open the refrigerator door.
1165. eng Once inside the refrigerator you open the vegetable drawer.
1166. eng Inside the vegetable drawer you see a lemon.
1167. eng You take out the lemon, close the vegetable drawer and then the refrigerator door.
1168. eng Lemon in hand, you walk over to your kitchen cabinet; take out a cutting board and a knife.
1169. eng You proceed to slice the lemon in half then you take one of the halves and slice the half in half and you have two-quarter slices of lemon.
1170. eng You then pick up one of the quarter slices of lemon and put it in your mouth and squeeze the lemon as you feel the lemon juice pouring into your mouth.
1171. eng Is your mouth watering “as if” you actually had a slice of lemon in your mouth?
1172. eng Most people’s mouth will water.
1173. eng This little exercise illustrates that the brain doesn’t know the difference between what you imagine and what you are actually experiencing in the present.
1174. eng Similarly, suppose we consciously or unconsciously imagine ourselves as a little boy or little girl back in our dysfunctional family.
1175. eng Suppose we recall hearing and seeing a parent screaming at us.
1176. eng We hear them telling us how stupid they believe we are.
1177. eng How do you think you would feel even though you are now a grown adult and not a child?
1178. eng You would feel bad, wouldn’t you?
1179. eng That is what I mean by associating.
1180. eng Almost universally, I discover clients are having problems in adulthood due to their imagining themselves still children.
1181. eng They continue using their childhood experiences as their present frame of reference.
1182. eng We call this “associating.”
1183. eng You know if you are associating into a memory if when you recall it you do not see yourself in the picture.
1184. eng Let’s experiment.
1185. eng Recall a mildly painful memory.
1186. eng Get a picture of it.
1187. eng Now, in the picture note whether or not you see yourself or you just see the other people and environment in that picture.
1188. eng If you do not see yourself, mentally, you have associated back into that memory and you will tend to experience the same negative feelings you had when you experienced it.
1189. eng Now, because the brain does not know the difference between what you represent by imagination or by current input, when you mentally place yourself back into some painful memory, you will have negative feelings very similar to what you experienced during that event.
1190. eng If you see yourself in that picture as the younger you, we call that dissociating.
1191. eng When people say something like, “That doesn’t bother me anymore, I have distanced myself from it.”
1192. eng They have in fact dissociated from the memory by seeing themselves in the picture and by pushing the picture away from their eyes so it is at a distance.
1193. eng This diminishes the feelings whereas associating into a memory tends to increase the feelings.
1194. eng When we consciously or unconsciously associate back into our past hurtful memories and operate from the mental frames (conceptual meanings) that we gave them, we are confusing the map with the territory.
1195. eng When we do this we are living our adult lives inside the painful experiences of childhood.
1196. eng The thinking we developed then served us then but it doesn’t serve us in adulthood.
1197. eng If you find yourself:
1198. eng • (Jumping to Conclusions) generalization
1199. eng • (Being Narrow Minded) centration
1200. eng • (Playing the “blame game”) transductive reasoning
1201. eng • (Personalizing) egocentrism
1202. eng • (Making mountains out of molehills.) inductive logic or castraphizing
1203. eng • (Black and white thinking) thinking in absolutes and
1204. eng • (Blocking out past positive examples.) irreversability then you are operating from childhood frames.
1205. eng John Burton, Ed.D.
1206. eng has an article on the Neuro-Semantics’ web site that defines the thinking styles of children.
1207. eng The title of the article is “Hypnotic Language: Solutions in a Word .”
1208. eng If I were to list one common element of the problems that I have confronted during these ten years as a therapist, I would list associating into past painful memories.
1209. eng The problem of unconsciously associating into childhood problem states and bringing that forward into the adult world lies at the root of many problems that I see therapeutically.
1210. eng Note: You may have tried through years of reading and/or attending trainings to “fix” your thinking without it working.
1211. eng Experience has taught me that often times a person will need assistance in activating these associated frames in order to bring them to conscious level.
1212. eng From there it becomes fairly easy to meta-state and reframe them.
1213. eng But know this, you can change your thinking no matter how unconscious the problem state.
1214. eng If you do not know whether or not you are associating into some past memory, you can bet you are doing just that unconsciously if you are having problems with unwanted behaviors and thoughts.
1215. eng 7.
1216. eng People who change know how to apply higher meta-level states to lower level problems.
1217. eng As we have learned, our brains do not stop at just one thought.
1218. eng It will keep on thinking thoughts about thoughts.
1219. eng When we have a “thought about a thought” the second thought will change the first thought and that is where the magic lies.
1220. eng In thinking and behaving the ability of the brain to have thoughts about thoughts is crucial.
1221. eng Here is the secret.
1222. eng When you have one thought (thoughts are composed of images and conceptual meanings) and then entertain another thought “about” the original thought the original thought will change.
1223. eng What in the world does that mean?
1224. eng It is simple.
1225. eng If you have an experience that scares you and from that experience you become afraid of your fear, what will happen?
1226. eng In this case the fear will intensify.
1227. eng Indeed, applying fear to fear leads to paranoia.
1228. eng What if instead of becoming fearful of your fear, you welcomed your fear?
1229. eng You applied the thought that this fear has value to me and I will welcome it?
1230. eng What will happen to the fear?
1231. eng It will modulate the fear where you can step outside of it and learn from it.
1232. eng Then, once you learn what you need to learn from the fear, you apply the thought of faith to your fear, what would happen?
1233. eng What happens to fear when faith is applied to it?
1234. eng Fear disappears in the face of strong faith.
1235. eng Play with your brain.
1236. eng Get a thought of anger.
1237. eng Now, apply to your anger the thought of forgiveness.
1238. eng Take the same anger and apply the thought of love.
1239. eng What about taking your anger and applying the thought of calmness to it, what happens?
1240. eng Would you have ever guessed how easy you could change your states of mind by applying one thought to another thought?
1241. eng Every time we take a thought and apply another thought to it, the original thought will modulate or change in some way.
1242. eng We call this Meta-Stating¾ applying one thought to another thought.
1243. eng And, herein lies the magic.
1244. eng Herein lies your ability to re-format and re-program your thinking.
1245. eng Those whom I have seen who have changed their thinking, inevitably have meta-stated their problem state with higher-level resource states.
1246. eng Instead of meta-stating themselves sick, they learned to meta-state themselves well.
1247. eng They left re-building a new set of higher-level mental frames that served them.
1248. eng I encourage the reader to “process” the materials found in this article.
1249. eng Access some personal problem and take that problem through all seven of the steps explained in this article.
1250. eng You may experience utter amazement at how that “problem” becomes a lesser problem.

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