NLP

2000.eng. 2.
2001.eng. Write a list of the criteria.
2002.eng. 3.
2003.eng. Call a familiar realtor.
2004.eng. 4.
2005.eng. Look at homes until ….
2006.eng. 5.
2007.eng. See a criteria match.
2008.eng. 6.
2009.eng. Feel real good.
2010.eng. 7.
2011.eng. Buy home.#
2012.eng. Second, analyze the strategy - from the perspective of the exact sequence of their 5 senses that they use to organized their internal and external representational systems – (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, and Criteria List.)
2013.eng. The strategy may be something like this:
2014.eng. 1.
2015.eng. think about - Auditory internal dialogue.
2016.eng. 2.
2017.eng. write down – Kinesthetic – motion not feelings.
2018.eng. 3.
2019.eng. call a realtor – Auditory external.
2020.eng. 4.
2021.eng. look at home – Visual external.
2022.eng. 5.
2023.eng. saw criteria was a match.
2024.eng. Visual
2025.eng. 6.
2026.eng. felt good – Kinesthetic – feelings.#
2027.eng. The Strategy is: Talk to self – write down - talk to someone else – look at – see a match – feel good.
2028.eng. To be persuasive we now reflect back the person's exact strategy in the exact sequence they gave it to you.
2029.eng. Notice their response.
2030.eng. Does their non-verbal communication suggest that they agree with what you said.
2031.eng. So they look emotionally happy?
2032.eng. “Great!
2033.eng. That sounds like a perfect way to go about it.
2034.eng. So, I’m sure that you have thoughts what is important to you and your family in a home, so if you haven’t already done so why don’t you write them down and call me when you and your wife can go and look at some homes.
2035.eng. There are a lot of houses on the market so I’m sure that you will see one that you will feel is perfect for you.”
2036.eng. Keep repeating their strategy over and over.
2037.eng. More simply the strategy is:
2038.eng. Think - write - talk – look - see – feel
2039.eng. and link this with what you want them to do until the person has an overwhelming desire to do as you wish.
2040.eng. 7-Steps to Irresistible Persuasion Using Strategy, Process and Criteria.[[h1]]#
2041.eng. Determine the mutually agreeable outcome.
2042.eng. Establish rapport.
2043.eng. Ask the basic strategy elicitation questions:
2044.eng. "How do you decide ...
2045.eng. ?"
2046.eng. "How do you know ...
2047.eng. ?"
2048.eng. “What steps do you go through when you …..
2049.eng. ?"#
2050.eng. Use all the non-verbal communication cues that the person gives you.
2051.eng. Eye accessing cues.
2052.eng. Visual, auditory, and kinesthetic predicates.
2053.eng. Continue to elicit the major representational systems until complete.
2054.eng. Get all the details about the person's Criteria.
2055.eng. Ask, “What is important to you about …… ?#
2056.eng. Keep cycling through their strategy/process and Criteria list (linked with what you want them to do) repeatedly until you achieve your outcome.
2057.eng. Using the above example of someone buying a home - lets add Criteria to the process.
2058.eng. First, you ask one of the process/strategy finding questions.
2059.eng. "How did you decide to buy your last home?“
2060.eng. They respond: “First, I thought about what was really important to me and my family, and wrote them down in a list.
2061.eng. Then I called the realtor who sold me my last home.
2062.eng. My wife and I looked at several houses until we found one that we both felt met all our needs.”
2063.eng. Ask this question!
2064.eng. Next, you ask the Criteria elicitation question.
2065.eng. “I want to help you find the perfect home.
2066.eng. What is important to you and your family about living in the perfect home?”
2067.eng. Not this question!
2068.eng. Notice how I asked the question.
2069.eng. I wanted to get deeper criteria and values, right away, so the question wasn’t – ‘What is important to you and your family about a perfect home?” This would get answers like: 5 bedrooms, large kitchen, developed basement, 2 car garage etc.
2070.eng. If you followed the “not this question” answer with “What would having a home with 5 bedrooms, large kitchen, developed basement, 2 car garage etc - do for you?” would get the same answer as the “ask this question” above.
2071.eng. So ask this question!
2072.eng. What is important to you and your family about living in the perfect home?”
2073.eng. They respond: “Having a perfect home would mean that we have enough room so everyone has the freedom to do the things that they want to do.
2074.eng. It should be developed so that our family can “play” together and we will have the space to entertain socially.
2075.eng. The criteria are:
2076.eng. 1.
2077.eng. freedom to do the things we want to do
2078.eng. 2.
2079.eng. family can “play” together
2080.eng. 3.
2081.eng. entertain socially#
2082.eng. The new example of being persuasive Using Strategy, Process and Criteria Becomes:#
2083.eng. “Great!
2084.eng. That sounds like a perfect way to go about it.
2085.eng. So, I’m sure that you have thoughts about what is important to you and your family in a home, so if you haven’t already done so why don’t you write them down and call me when you and your wife can go and look at some homes.
2086.eng. There are a lot of houses on the market so I’m sure that you will see one that you will feel is perfect for you.
2087.eng. And once I have helped you find your perfect home so that you and your family have the freedom to do the things you want to do, your family can really feel good as you play together.
2088.eng. And you’ll have the perfect place to entertain your friends socially.”
2089.eng. Please note that: Bold black – denotes Strategy.
2090.eng. Bold red – denotes Criteria.#
2091.eng. Practice Using Criteria with Process and Strategy
2092.eng. 1.
2093.eng. Practice using the basic strategy elicitation questions: for 5 different strategies each week over the next month.
2094.eng.  "How do you decide ...
2095.eng. ?
2096.eng.  "How do you know ...
2097.eng. ?
2098.eng.  “What steps do you go through when you …..
2099.eng. ?#
2100.eng. For Example: How someone motivates himself or herself.
2101.eng. How someone decides to buy or not buy something.
2102.eng. How someone knows how to get into a relationship with someone else.#
2103.eng. 2 Practice observing and listening for non-verbal communication accessing cues that give you each person’s strategy/process#
2104.eng. 3.
2105.eng. For each strategy list the steps here the person goes through on a global level to make a decision:
2106.eng. __________________________________________________
2107.eng. __________________________________________________
2108.eng. __________________________________________________
2109.eng. __________________________________________________
2110.eng. __________________________________________________
2111.eng. 4.
2112.eng. For each strategy list the representational systems by code (V, A, K) the person goes through in order to make a decision:
2113.eng. __________________________________________________
2114.eng. __________________________________________________
2115.eng. __________________________________________________
2116.eng. __________________________________________________
2117.eng. __________________________________________________
2118.eng. 5.
2119.eng. For each strategy list the representational systems by code (V, A, K) the person goes through in order to make a decision:
2120.eng. __________________________________________________
2121.eng. __________________________________________________
2122.eng. __________________________________________________
2123.eng. __________________________________________________#
2124.eng. Irresistible Communication, Influence and Persuasion Part 4[[h1]]
2125.eng. Chaining Emotional States Together or How to Lead Someone From One State to Another State.[[h2]]
2126.eng. Naturally as we have in the past, we will continue to keep in mind that we are using these processes based on being in - or creating long term relationships.[[h2]]
2127.eng. REVIEW
2128.eng. As we have discussed over the last few months, there are several skills necessary to be able to communicate irresistibly.
2129.eng. Some of these skills are:
2130.eng. Establishing and maintaining rapport.
2131.eng. Having a definite outcome.
2132.eng. Using Advance Language Patterns.
2133.eng. Refer to "Advanced Language Patterns Mastery"
2134.eng. Verbal pacing and leading.
2135.eng. Eliciting or creating emotional states.
2136.eng. Basically we are talking about having the ability/skill to either elicit or create an emotional state in the other person, (or yourself!) that is the perfect emotional state for them/you to be in if they/you were to naturally go ahead and carry out the mutually beneficial suggestion or action.
2137.eng. Chaining Emotional States Together.
2138.eng. Develop the skill to be able to lead someone (or yourself) from one emotional state to another.
2139.eng. Matching the other person's criteria.
2140.eng. Matching process/strategy.
2141.eng. This month's skill building exercise is about chaining the emotional states that we learned to elicit last month together in order to lead someone from one emotional state to another emotional state.
2142.eng. We will focus on Skill #6 - Chaining Emotional States Together.
2143.eng. This skill will greatly improve our ability to influence and persuade as well as build rapport.
2144.eng. Chaining Emotional States Together.[[h1]]#
2145.eng. Please note we will only cover just the very basics here.
2146.eng. In order to understand this let's assume that we are going to influence or persuade someone to act or think in a certain way that would be mutually beneficial to them and to us.#
2147.eng. Start with an outcome in mind.
2148.eng. What is the state that you would like them to be in at the end of the process so that they will naturally be able to act or think in a way that is beneficial to both of you.
2149.eng. For our exercise we will chain 3 states together.
2150.eng. We will use some of the states that we learned to elicit in past exercises - slightly modified to fit the context we will be using.
2151.eng. So, we will be chaining three states together.
2152.eng. State A to State B to State C
2153.eng. Curiosity (A) to Open To New Possibilities (B) to Future Success (C)
2154.eng. For our example we will assume that the person has expressed some Curiosity - which we will deepen and then link to Open To New Possibilities and then link to Future Success.
2155.eng. We could, of course, have to paced and led the person from whatever state that they were currently in - if it was not Curiosity, into Curiosity (A).
2156.eng. We could do that by linking their present on-going experience to Curiosity with some of our Advanced Language Patterns that we have already learned - such as cause and effect.
2157.eng. i.e.
2158.eng. You came to my web site and began to read some of the words that were written there.
2159.eng. And as you read, you had thoughts.
2160.eng. And having had those thoughts caused you to begin to become very curious about how you could use this valuable information in your everyday life.
2161.eng. etc.
2162.eng. Most of the time when we are chaining states from one state to another state may require too large of a state shift to go directly from the state that they are in to the desired end state.
2163.eng. So, one or two intermediate states may be required.
2164.eng. In our example to shift someone from Curiosity to Future Success would be too big of a jump.
2165.eng. Therefore, we are using an intermediate state of Open To New Possibilities.#
2166.eng. We'll use that same context that we used to elicit curiosity previously, which will help us integrate the exercises.
2167.eng. The context is that of a sales person wanting to get their customer into a state of Curiosity about their product or service, begin to see what the New Possibilities are and as a result of using the product or service they will experience Future Success.
2168.eng. We will use time distortion to future pace the customer to have already experienced Future Success in their mind.
2169.eng. I'll be the salesperson and you can take the position of a person who is interested in improving your communication by using Advanced Language Patterns Mastery to improve your results.
2170.eng. You can be my friend, John.
2171.eng. Let's assume that we are meeting face to face and you have asked me about my product, "Advanced Language Patterns Mastery"
2172.eng. First we deepen the state of Curiosity[[h3]]
2173.eng. Thank you so much for asking.
2174.eng. You know, John, isn't it interesting how people think?
2175.eng. I find it so amazing that so many of my customers tell me that when you first learn about Advanced Language Patterns, you become so curious about it that you want to learn how you can use it in your life.
2176.eng. And it is so natural.
2177.eng. It's like, have you ever had a time in your life when you notice that there is something happening and you just begin to wonder about it.
2178.eng. And no matter what you are doing, whether it's during the day or during the night, it keeps popping into your mind and that makes you even more curious about it.
2179.eng. Somehow it's really able to peak your interest to the point where you just can't stop thinking about it until you find out more about it.
2180.eng. So, you find someone, like me, to ask about it.
2181.eng. And because you asked about it, you become even more curious about it.
2182.eng. And as you do that, you find yourself asking yourself these questions.
2183.eng. "What's this all about?' "How does this work?" " How can I use this?"
2184.eng. Bridge To Open To New Possibilities And Begin to Elicit The State[[h3]]
2185.eng. It's like you're saying to your self, "I don't know what's really going on here but it seems like what's going on here is so full of opportunities.
2186.eng. I like it.
2187.eng. I don't know exactly what it is yet, but there's something here that is really important for me." And as you think about that and Advanced Language Patterns, it's exactly those kind of thoughts and feelings that you and others become aware of.
2188.eng. It's those very kind of thoughts and feeling that cause you to ask me about it.
2189.eng. And because you're clever enough to not accept things you're told without asking about them, you want to know more about this because it's possible to get really interested in learning how you can make changes in your life through the use of language and language patterns.
2190.eng. And because you have had this growing sense of curiosity and a ever growing sense of new opportunity about this - you want to know more.
2191.eng. You may find that as you learn more about this, John, you start believing how important learning about language patterns is to your life.
2192.eng. And learning more allows you to begin to change some of your beliefs from the ones you used to have, to new and more useful ones.
2193.eng. And it happen, just like that.
2194.eng. You find that you see new opportunities and you see new possibilities and you see these thing in a new and different way.
2195.eng. And you can benefit from that, be open to that and be able to accept the possibility that it can happen almost without any effort at all.
2196.eng. Bridge To Future Success And Begin to Elicit The State[[h3]]
2197.eng. It's really amazing that it does happen just like that, without conscious effort, because you have taken the steps and actions you needed to take to satisfy your curiosity and to see the possibilities for yourself.
2198.eng. By having chosen to learn to use language patterns, you have already are already taking the actions you want to take.
2199.eng. The actions that are the beginning of you future success.
2200.eng. Just imagine, six months from now.
2201.eng. You're proficient in using language patterns and because you've become so proficient, you've have had the success that you wanted and you've been able to get that success without a lot of pain or effort.
2202.eng. And having achieved this success, you can look back on today as the day that you made a decision to be more successful.
2203.eng. And that makes you feel good.
2204.eng. Now, what is the one thing I can tell about "Advanced Language Patterns Mastery" you that will make you even more eager to go ahead.#
2205.eng. Your exercise (the minimum required) for the next four weeks is to think of two situations in your life where you can chain three or more emotional states together to get a beneficial outcome.
2206.eng. During the first two weeks create the necessary wording to elicit and chain the emotional states together for the first situation.
2207.eng. During the final 2 weeks do the same for the second situation.
2208.eng. Please let me know how you enjoyed this exercise.[[h3]]
2209.eng. And email me the some examples of the wording you used to elicit and chain your emotional state together.[[h3]]#
2210.eng.
2211.eng. email: Larry McLauchlin#
2212.eng.
2213.eng. Irresistible Communication, Influence and Persuasion Part 5[[h2]]
2214.eng. Matching The Other Person's Values or Criteria.[[h2]]
2215.eng. Do you want to become an Irresistible Communicator?
2216.eng. To be a Master of Influence and Persuasion?
2217.eng. I make it so easy In Irresistible Communication: Influence and Persuasion for the Professional
2218.eng. Irresistible Communication: Influence and Persuasion for the Professional
2219.eng. Remember we are using these powerful techniques to create long term relationships.
2220.eng. REVIEW
2221.eng. As we have discussed previously, there are several skills necessary to be able to communicate irresistibly.
2222.eng. To repeat (and repetition is the mother of skill), these skills are:
2223.eng. Establishing and maintaining rapport.
2224.eng. Be sure that you are matching the other person exactly.
2225.eng. Start off with a second or two delay in your matching or mirroring and then move to matching the other person almost simultaneously within a minute or two.
2226.eng. Avoid matching the other person using subtle matches.
2227.eng. This is not a match - do and move exactly as they do.
2228.eng. The only way to get into deep rapport is to be willing to do what they do - 100% the same.
2229.eng. Having a definite outcome.
2230.eng. Set an outcome for everything you do.
2231.eng. If your are to influence and persuade you must know the outcome you want to achieve.
2232.eng. Using Advance Language Patterns.
2233.eng. We have already practiced some of the Advanced Language Patterns.
2234.eng. Using 3, 4 or more of them in combination will make it impossible for the conscious mind to recognize and negate all of the suggestions.
2235.eng. Refer to "Advanced Language Patterns Mastery" and the previous exercises for using presuppositions, cause and effect, embedded commands, single and double binds etc.
2236.eng. Verbal pacing and leading.
2237.eng. Pacing what is undeniably true and leading to what we want to be believed as true or what has yet to be established as being true.
2238.eng. In addition using Advanced Language Patterns to covertly insert commands to the other person's unconscious mind.
2239.eng. Eliciting or creating emotional states.
2240.eng. Basically we are talking about having the ability/skill to either elicit or create an emotional state in the other person, that is the perfect emotional state for them to be in if they were to naturally go ahead and carry out the mutually beneficial suggestion or action.
2241.eng. This includes the ability to be able to put yourself into this state (all your verbals and non-verbals will indicate you are in this state) before you create or elicit the same emotional state in others.
2242.eng. Matching the other person's criteria and values.
2243.eng. Eliciting and matching exactly the other person's criteria and values for the context you wish to influence and persuade.
2244.eng. Utilizing criteria is critical!
2245.eng. That is what this Skill Building Exercise will cover.
2246.eng. Matching process/strategy.
2247.eng. Irresistible influence and persuasion is obtained when you are able to determine the process/strategy the other person uses for any particular decision that they make or action that they take..
2248.eng. Again this is context dependent.
2249.eng. Find out their process and put your content into that process and it will be absolutely irresistible to them.
2250.eng. (More about this in a future exercise).
2251.eng. Criteria: What is important to someone.
2252.eng. How they judge whether a standard is met.
2253.eng. Value: an ideal accepted by some individual or group; "he has old-fashioned values"
2254.eng. From here on forward I will use the both terms values to and criteria - since the line between the two of them is not at all clear.
2255.eng. This month's skill building exercise is about eliciting and then using someone's own criteria and values to influence and persuade them powerfully.
2256.eng. Our main focus will be on Skill #7 - Matching the other person's criteria and values.
2257.eng. This skill will greatly improve our ability to influence and persuade as well as build rapport.
2258.eng. Eliciting and matching the other person's criteria and values.[[h1]]#
2259.eng. Please note we will only cover just the very basics here.
2260.eng. In order to understand this let's assume that we are going to influence or persuade someone to act or think in a certain way that would be mutually beneficial to them and to us.#
2261.eng. Eliciting The Other Person's Criteria and Values.[[h3]]
2262.eng. Before we go into how we can elicit someone's values, let's ensure that we understand what we mean by someone's values.
2263.eng. (The following includes excerpts from my unpublished manuscript on Meta-Programs entitled "Patterns of Influence"
2264.eng. Criteria and Values [[h1]]
2265.eng. The Criteria - Values Pattern:
2266.eng. Criteria are context dependent.
2267.eng. Each person has their own non-verbal process for determining when something is good, right or appropriate or bad, wrong and inappropriate for them.
2268.eng. Each person has words and phrases which describe these processes.
2269.eng. These words and phrases are called criteria or values.
2270.eng. When a person's criteria are met they will feel good and when the values are not met they will feel badly.
2271.eng. It is important to note that when someone hears their own personal criteria they will feel good.
2272.eng. It will be as though they just recognized a particular situation which met their values and criteria which gave them pleasant feelings.
2273.eng. This is because they have learned to associate the good feelings with the values words and phrases.
2274.eng. How to Elicit or Find Someone's Values
2275.eng. We elicit or find out someone's values by asking one of two questions.
2276.eng. The general questions to ask are either:
2277.eng. What is important to you in a "X"?
2278.eng. or
2279.eng. What's important to you about a "X"?
2280.eng. Where "X" is the context in which you wish to obtain the criteria..
2281.eng. For example: If you were a car salesperson - you would want to know the person's criteria and values for what they considered a good car, so that you could be sure that the car that you sell them will met their values.
2282.eng. If it does, they may buy it and if it doesn't, they will not buy it.
2283.eng. So, you would ask either of these criteria elicitation questions:
2284.eng. What do you want in a car?
2285.eng. Or
2286.eng. What's important to you about a car?
2287.eng. How To Recognize or Identify The Criteria -Values
2288.eng. In answering the question the person will give you a list of words and phrases.
2289.eng. These will be the criteria which make them feel good about "X".
2290.eng. In our example a car.
2291.eng. If you "say" a person's criteria back to them, they should feel good.
2292.eng. If they do not feel good or show a pleasant response - what you said was not their criteria and values.
2293.eng. In our example, let's say that we ask: What's important to you about a car?
2294.eng. And they respond, "We need something that is economical and has enough room for my family." The two criteria that they gave us here are:
2295.eng. it must be economical.
2296.eng. it must have room for a family.
2297.eng. We could ask essentially the same question again to get more criteria..
2298.eng. We ask, "And what else is important to you?"
2299.eng. In answering, they might say, "It has to also have front wheel drive so we can get around in the winter." Here we get another criteria:
2300.eng. getting around in winter.
2301.eng. Matching The Other Person's Criteria - Values[[h1]]
2302.eng. We Use Other Person's Values or Criteria in Our Language To Create a More Complete Understanding.
2303.eng. We then use the person's criteria in a sentence, in relation to "X", back to them.
2304.eng. We do not interpret the meaning of the words or phases; we use the exact words directly as they said them to us.
2305.eng. We do not paraphrase!
2306.eng. In our example, we might say, "Great, so you're looking for a car that is economical, has plenty of room for your family and has front wheel drive so you can get around in the winter.
2307.eng. Is that right?"
2308.eng. When we "say" these values and criteria back to them, they should feel good and we should be able to notice it in their non-verbal communication (a head nodding, a smile etc.).
2309.eng. If they do not feel good or show a pleasant response, what we said were not their criteria or values and we would re-ask the criteria elicitation questions.
2310.eng. In selling a car to the people in our example, what is real important to the person are:
2311.eng. that it is economical
2312.eng. that it has room for the family
2313.eng. that it can get around in winter
2314.eng. It is important to note that other features and benefits of a car are not as important as these.
2315.eng. So if you were to attempt to sell this person with any other benefit that is important to you - they would not likely buy - because it is not important to them.
2316.eng. The key here is that you do not sell what features and benefits you like, the manufacture emphasizes etc.
2317.eng. you sell what the buyer wants!
2318.eng. While we have emphasized criteria and values here, we assume that all the other skills in irresistible communicating will also be used.#
2319.eng.

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