1700.eng. Would Have, Could Have, Should Have Would have, Could have, Should have:
1701.eng. These words are all past tense and can have a seriously negative impact on your persuasion message.
1702.eng. Generally, you want to be leading people into the present time so they can and will act right now!
1703.eng. Often, these words create a whining atmosphere as well.
1704.eng. Can't Can't:
1705.eng. This word is in a class of words called negations.
1706.eng. Negations, used the way most people use them, can pose a serious threat to your persuasion message.
1707.eng. Sentences such as, "You can't use negations" force your mind to first picture using negations then in some way negate that picture.
1708.eng. Think back to a time when you saw a mother with her child on a rainy day.
1709.eng. As the two of them approach a mud puddle, the mother says, "Johnny, don't step in the mud puddle.
1710.eng. " And what does Johnny do?
1711.eng. Of course, he jumps right in.
1712.eng. The reason is that any negation forces the mind to think about the very thing that you don't want the person you're persuading to do.
1713.eng. As you know, one of the most important elements to any persuasion is to get the person who you're persuading to make a mental image of doing what you want them to do.
1714.eng. Thus, words like "Can't" create the very image you don't want the person to make.
1715.eng. There are some very powerful and creative ways to use negation -- just be careful that you use it properly or not at all until you're real comfortable with it.
1716.eng. Verbal Pacing and Leading This pattern is so fundamental to all good persuasion that taking the time to really master it will pay off for you in a big way -- in far greater proportion than the time it takes to learn it.
1717.eng. Pacing = talking about either what is ____________ and ______________ in a person's ongoing experience or talking about what is _____________ accepted as true.
1718.eng. Talking about what is commonly accepted as true is also called using ___________.
1719.eng. Leading = talking about what you want the other person to believe that as yet is not ______________________.
1720.eng. THE PACING AND LEADING PERSUASION FORMAT Pace, pace, pace, lead Pace, pace, lead Pace, lead Lead, lead, lead.
1721.eng. Example:
1722.eng. As you sit there, reading this information, letting your eyes follow each word, you can begin to discover how this information will allow you to increase your persuasion power.
1723.eng. And as you think about how that might happen, and listen to what those ideas are inside your own thoughts, you may find yourself getting excited at how much easier this makes the process of convincing someone to do what you want.
1724.eng. In fact, feeling that excitement beginning to build now causes you to want to begin to practice, to perfect this technique.
1725.eng. The technique is strong enough to get people to go along with whatever you say, so much so that utilizing it will dramatically increase your sales.
1726.eng. This also establishes your credibility and furthers the rapport you are building.
1727.eng. Now, can you go over that example and pick out the paces and leads?
1728.eng. Another thing to add to the above format is the concept of moving someone from the external environment to the ______________.
1729.eng. Look again at the above example and see if you can determine how this was done.
1730.eng. What is a "yes" set?
1731.eng. Where a person feels _______________ to say _______ to whatever you are saying.
1732.eng. One of the main reasons to use verbal pacing and leading is that it automatically sets up an.
1733.eng. unconscious "yes" set.
1734.eng. A "yes" set traditional is a set of questions designed to elicit a "yes" response from the person you're persuading.
1735.eng. The theory is that if you get enough "yesses" during the presentation, when you ask for the commitment, agreement or order, they will say, "Yes!
1736.eng. " Here's an example of the traditional conscious "Yes" set.
1737.eng. Salesperson to prospect:
1738.eng. Mr.
1739.eng. Smith?
1740.eng. Prospect:
1741.eng. Yes.
1742.eng. Salesperson:
1743.eng. Mr.
1744.eng. John Smith?
1745.eng. Prospect:
1746.eng. Yes.
1747.eng. Salesperson:
1748.eng. Thank you, Mr.
1749.eng. Smith.
1750.eng. My records indicate that you are the vice-president of purchasing.
1751.eng. Is that right?
1752.eng. Prospect:
1753.eng. Yes.
1754.eng. Salesperson:
1755.eng. Great.
1756.eng. May I ask you a question?
1757.eng. Prospect:
1758.eng. Yes.
1759.eng. Salesperson:
1760.eng. If I can show you a way to save costs on your inventory, you would be interested in taking a look, wouldn't you?
1761.eng. YUCCHH!
1762.eng. Do you see the pattern?
1763.eng. What else happens for you as you read this?
1764.eng. If you are like a lot of intelligent consumers, you are also alerted to the upcoming assault, right?
1765.eng. So, what's the answer?
1766.eng. How can you get people saying "Yes" without using out-moded tactics like the one above?
1767.eng. The answer is in verbal pacing and leading.
1768.eng. What is verbal pacing and leading?
1769.eng. It's a sophisticated technique that links things that are true with things that you'd like people to believe are true.
1770.eng. Pacing Some examples of things that qualify as pacing (verifiably true):
1771.eng. You are reading this.
1772.eng. You can feel the temperature around you.
1773.eng. On the news last night.
1774.eng. As you participate in this learning experience.
1775.eng. On my way to see you today, I was thinking.
1776.eng. Write three of your own:
1777.eng. The reason that those qualified is because they are true and verifiable.
1778.eng. Or they qualify as truisms (things that are commonly accepted as true).
1779.eng. Leading Leads are anything that you want people to believe.
1780.eng. So here are some examples of things that could be considered leads:
1781.eng. You are excited about this information.
1782.eng. You are becoming committed to learning more about this.
1783.eng. Verbal pacing and leading makes persuasion easier.
1784.eng. Verbal pacing and leading creates a lullaby type of effect.
1785.eng. This training will have ongoing benefits that you haven't even become aware of yet.
1786.eng. What are some of your own?
1787.eng. Can you begin to see the difference between pacing and leading?
1788.eng. Pacing statements are statements that are true.
1789.eng. The listener can't take exception to them!
1790.eng. That's what makes them so powerful for our purposes.
1791.eng. Leading statements are what you want the person you're persuading to believe.
1792.eng. They are not necessarily proven, but they are what you want your prospect to believe.
1793.eng. The format to follow is:
1794.eng. Pace, pace, pace, lead Pace, pace, lead Pace, lead Lead, lead, lead.
1795.eng. Example:
1796.eng. As you review what you've read so far, allowing the seconds to pass while you think about this in your own way, you can begin to understand the value of using this technique to get more of what you want when you want it.
1797.eng. And as you begin to understand the value of this, thinking back to a time when this might have made the difference, you can begin to anticipate the benefits that will be yours as you begin to use it.
1798.eng. While that anticipation builds, you might just take a second to tell yourself how thrilled you are to have found this at a time when you can really use it.
1799.eng. NOW, as the realization begins to sink in, perhaps even outside your awareness, that the real key to persuasion is having skills like this that you can use, have you already started to wonder who you will first share this new skill of yours with?
1800.eng. Now, let's go back over this passage and analyze it.
1801.eng. First, before we do that, read it one more time.
1802.eng. Can you understand how the pacing and leading creates a powerful influence that literally compels your experience?
1803.eng. Here are the paces and leads:
1804.eng. Pace:
1805.eng. review what you've read Pace:
1806.eng. allowing seconds to pass Pace:
1807.eng. while you think about this in your own way Lead:
1808.eng. understand the value of using this Pace:
1809.eng. understand the value of using this Pace:
1810.eng. thinking back to a time…
1811.eng. could have made a difference Lead:
1812.eng. anticipate the benefits …
1813.eng. use it Pace:
1814.eng. anticipation builds Lead:
1815.eng. tell yourself how thrilled you are to have found this.
1816.eng. Lead:
1817.eng. realization begins to sink in Lead:
1818.eng. the real key to persuasion is having skills like this Lead:
1819.eng. wonder who you will share this new skill with first.
1820.eng. Try this.
1821.eng. Read just the leads above, out loud.
1822.eng. If those were all that was written, they wouldn't have had near the power as when you have the pacing statements with them, right?
1823.eng. Each time you read a pace, your unconscious says, "Yes.
1824.eng. " Except that this is so subtle (and therefore, powerful)!
1825.eng. that nobody thinks of it as an assault.
1826.eng. Instead, you have created an environment that is comfortable, one that supports the other person in moving with you.
1827.eng. Here's another example for you:
1828.eng. As you sit there, reading this information, letting your eyes follow each word, you can begin to discover how this information will allow you to increase your persuasion power.
1829.eng. And as you think about how that might happen, and listen to what those ideas are inside your own thoughts, you may find yourself getting excited at how much easier this makes the process of convincing someone to do what you want.
1830.eng. In fact, feeling that excitement beginning to build now causes you to want to begin to practice more, to perfect this technique.
1831.eng. This technique is strong enough to get people to go along with whatever you say.
1832.eng. It also establishes your credibility and furthers the rapport you are building.
1833.eng. Now, let's see if you can list the paces and leads in the above passage:
1834.eng. Also note that the passage begins with an external orientation and moves the reader to an internal orientation, thus further facilitating the persuasion process.
1835.eng. NOTES.
1836.eng.
1837.eng. Hidden Directives Okay, now we're really picking up speed.
1838.eng. This pattern is one of my personal favorites.
1839.eng. It has been responsible for earning me a significant amount of money, and it can do the same for you.
1840.eng. Here's what hidden directives will do for you.
1841.eng. They enable you to:
1842.eng. .
1843.eng. #
1844.eng. - bypass a person's conscious filtering system
1845.eng. - covertly give instructions that will be carried out by the person
1846.eng. - do your persuading on an unconscious level as well as conscious
1847.eng. - dramatically increase your personal power by understanding how to access instant acceptance in the person you are communicating with Hidden Directives are:
1848.eng. Commands that fit into the ___________ ____________ of a sentence without calling attention to their existence.
1849.eng. An example of this is as follows.
1850.eng. If you learn this material, you will be able to use it powerfully and that will allow you to feel good about your increased sales.
1851.eng. Write down the directives used above:
1852.eng. Note:
1853.eng. From now on, whenever you write a hidden directive, underline it.
1854.eng. This will be the standard that we will use.
1855.eng. Note the example on this page!
1856.eng. Note that if you just read the commands of the example, they make sense on their own.
1857.eng. This is communicating in multiple levels.
1858.eng. Here's another example:
1859.eng. I'm wondering, by now, if you can, John, feel great inside by understanding the value of what you have learned so far -- and this is just the beginning!
1860.eng. Write down the directives used above:
1861.eng. I did several important things here that you should be aware of.
1862.eng. First, I used the directive, "by now".
1863.eng. It could also mean, "Buy now" because it is something called a phonological ambiguity.
1864.eng. In other words, the mind translates that into all the possibilities of what the word sounds like and acts appropriately.
1865.eng. Think, then, about what using the word, "know" might do in a sales presentation.
1866.eng. I also used something called a noun substitution.
1867.eng. Read the example above and leave out the name John.
1868.eng. This meaning is still the same, however, adding the name makes the directive stronger because it focuses the person's attention.
1869.eng. You can put the name before or after the directive and still get the same results.
1870.eng. Sometimes, you can't use the person's name because it would make the sentence sound strange.
1871.eng. But often, you can use it!
1872.eng. By the way, if you think you'll get caught using hidden directives, think again.
1873.eng. Go back to the beginning of this workbook (and look through the manual that comes with this course) and you'll find dozens of examples of hidden directives.
1874.eng. (Just look for the underlines).
1875.eng. I've never been caught using this language pattern, and neither will you.
1876.eng. Here's a third example for you so that you can begin to understand this even more as you read it.
1877.eng. I had a client come in the other day and ask me if I thought this would be a good product for him to buy.
1878.eng. I told him, "If you want a good investment by all means, buy it.
1879.eng. " I said, "Take my word, it will do what you want.
1880.eng. " Finally, I said, "You are the only one who can convince yourself that it's right.
1881.eng. " Then I asked him if he felt it was right to go ahead and get it.
1882.eng. " He said he was.
1883.eng. I get asked a lot for my advice and I would love to be of service in any way I can.
1884.eng. Write down the directives used above:
1885.eng. Now, if you look back over the three examples that you were given you'll note that they follow a specific format.
1886.eng. Each one used a different structure for embedding commands.
1887.eng. Write down the structure here.
1888.eng. Example #1 used commands in a ________________ format.
1889.eng. (S) Example #2 used commands in a ________________ format.
1890.eng. (Q) Example #3 used commands in a ________________ format.
1891.eng. (")” Analogical Marking.
1892.eng. Analogical Marking is a fancy way of describing a way in which hidden directives are marked off _____________ or _____________ to draw attention to them unconsciously.
1893.eng. How to Mark Off Commands.
1894.eng. 1- Pause before giving the command.
1895.eng. 2- Change your tone (preferably, make it deeper) while giving the command.
1896.eng. 3- Increase or decrease your volume when giving the command.
1897.eng. 4- Make a specific motion when giving the command.
1898.eng. 5- Use anything that "marks off" the command.
1899.eng. NOTE:
1900.eng. Use numbers 1, 2 and 3 together for the most powerful effect.
1901.eng. Practice with the directive, "Convince yourself.
1902.eng. " Say it out loud until it sounds like a command.
1903.eng. (Refer to the audio tapes, please)!
1904.eng. Choose five commands that you can use in your day-to-day business.
1905.eng. Make them short (2-4 words each):
1906.eng. Now, use these commands in a statement that consciously does not call attention to the commands.
1907.eng. Write them here.
1908.eng. Underline all commands:
1909.eng.
1910.eng. Now, use these same commands in a question that does not call attention to the commands.
1911.eng. Write them here and underline all commands:
1912.eng.
1913.eng. Now, use these commands in a quotes form:
1914.eng.
1915.eng. Now, using what you've learned so far, write one sentence that uses pacing and leading, several of the most powerful words, and at least two commands -- all in combination!
1916.eng. Write the sentence here:
1917.eng.
1918.eng. Here's yet another way to use hidden directives in a powerful way.
1919.eng. You can quote yourself talking to yourself in your own head.
1920.eng. Example:
1921.eng. You know, it's really neat!
1922.eng. When I talk to you, I get excited about what the possibilities are for our future.
1923.eng. I even say to myself, be open to really be of service here.
1924.eng. I really appreciate our relationship!
1925.eng. Write one example for yourself:
1926.eng.
1927.eng. NOTES.
1928.eng.
1929.eng. Posturing For Success Here we will learn two patterns that will subtly help us to posture ourselves into a position of control.
1930.eng. The first pattern is called:
1931.eng. Conversational Postulates This technique is based on asking a question where the real intent of the question is not to get an answer, but to get the person to take some action.
1932.eng. It is quite subtle and powerful -- especially as a positioning technique.
1933.eng. Here are some examples:
1934.eng. Is the door open?
1935.eng. (Here you want the person to close the door).
1936.eng. Do we have any more soup?
1937.eng. (You want the person to bring you more soup).
1938.eng. Is it convenient to sit here and begin?
1939.eng. (You get the point.
1940.eng. .
1941.eng. ).
1942.eng. The second pattern is called:
1943.eng. Hidden Questions.
1944.eng. This technique is designed to soften questions so the person feels more at ease in answering them.
1945.eng. The most powerful questions to use are:
1946.eng. I'm wondering whether.
1947.eng. I ask myself if.
1948.eng. I'm curious as to.
1949.eng. Binds This pattern has somewhat-miraculous tendencies.
1950.eng. With this pattern, you can literally install suggestions that create the effect of a bind on the listener.
1951.eng. In other words, they will feel as though they must or must not, as the case may be, take certain action.
1952.eng. Here's what this pattern will do for you.
1953.eng. It will enable you to:
1954.eng. #
1955.eng. - "Bind" the mind of someone you want compliance from
1956.eng. - Use a format for installing suggestions that are irresistible Single Binds.
1957.eng. Single binds follow the format of:
1958.eng. The more you X, the more you Y.
1959.eng. The easiest way to teach this is by example:
1960.eng. The more you hear about this piece of property, the more you will be compelled to buy it.
1961.eng. The more you try and object, the more you will find yourself going along with these ideas.
1962.eng. The harder you try to find reasons why this won't work, the more you'll be forced to admit that it does.
1963.eng. The more you want to feel good about yourself, the more you'll need to act now on this proposal.
1964.eng. There are several structures to using this that may help you use this easily:
1965.eng. A. The more you don't comply, the more you will find yourself complying anyway.
1966.eng. B.
1967.eng. The more you do what I want, the more you will do even more of what I want.
1968.eng. C.
1969.eng. The more X happens, the more you'll know.
1970.eng. Additionally, you can put these inside of quotes, or use them with Cause and Effect language, or use them while firing off a compliance anchor (more on anchoring later) or while using Pacing.
1971.eng. and Leading (this is a very effective pace and lead) or use your creativity to combine this pattern with any other pattern!
1972.eng. Let's practice this pattern now.
1973.eng. Write three binds in the spaces below:
1974.eng.
1975.eng. Advanced Uses of Binds.
1976.eng. (Using binds to bind binds).
1977.eng. You can literally use a bind to bind a bind.
1978.eng. The idea here is to support an earlier bind with another bind.
1979.eng. The pattern to follow is to first, use a bind.
1980.eng. Then use another bind that binds the acceptance of the first bind.
1981.eng. Example:
1982.eng. The more you wonder if this is right for you, the more you'll know it is.
1983.eng. And, if you begin to doubt that what I just said is true, then you'll be compelled to buy it immediately.
1984.eng. The more you question the value of this, the more value you'll discover.
1985.eng. If you should wonder if what I just said makes any sense, you'll just immediately realize the value now as it applies to you.
1986.eng. The more ideas I share with you this afternoon, the more sense each one will make and the more compelled you will be to take action on them.
1987.eng. If you try to negate that in your mind, you will find yourself agreeing at an even deeper and more profound level.
1988.eng. In fact, you'll find that whether or not you understand how yet, your next thought will prove what I said to be true.
1989.eng. Anyway, let's get started with these ideas, shall we?
1990.eng. Now, let's write two sentences that use this pattern:
1991.eng.
1992.eng. NOTES.
1993.eng.
1994.eng. Controlling Emotions.
1995.eng. In this section, you will learn how to control the emotions of yourself and other people.
1996.eng. All persuasion is based on some form of eliciting the type of emotions you want and leveraging them to get the results you're after.
1997.eng. This can take several forms.
1998.eng. You can elicit the desired emotions directly, or you can use the emotionally charges words that will get you the response -- or both!
1999.eng. Here's what you'll learn in this section.
2000.eng. You'll learn how to:
2001.eng. #
2002.eng. - Invoke any emotional state in a person immediately, and leverage it for persuasion
2003.eng. - Control that state permanently by having the ability to turn it on or off at will.
2004.eng. #
2005.eng. - Put yourself in an optimum emotional state for persuasion
2006.eng. - Identify useful emotional states in order to enhance persuasion HOW TO ELICIT AN EMOTIONAL STATE
2007.eng. 1- Go into the state yourself.
2008.eng. 2- Ask questions about the target state.
2009.eng. Can you remember a time when you absolutely had to have something and you bought it?
2010.eng. What did you feel like right at the instant that you made the decision to do it?
2011.eng. 3- Be congruent!
2012.eng. If it's an excited state you want them to go into, be excited yourself!
2013.eng. 4- Have the associate into the experience.
2014.eng. Note in number to above, I asked, What did you feel.
2015.eng. I made them feel.
2016.eng. In order to do that, you have to be in the experience.
2017.eng. First, let's learn state elicitation.
2018.eng. How can you elicit a state?
2019.eng. There are some useful steps to follow:
2020.eng. Associated = Dissociated = Useful States to Elicit What are some useful states to elicit?
2021.eng. 1- Buying
2022.eng. 2- Excitement 3- Pure desire 4- Something you must do 5- Something that is no longer true for you but used to be Here are the two primary techniques you can use to elicit any emotional state:
2023.eng. 1- Use emotionally-charges words in your conversations or writings.
2024.eng. 2- Ask the prospect about the state directly:
2025.eng. What's it like when you are completely X'd?
2026.eng. Anchoring Anchoring is based on ______________ _______________ conditioning.
2027.eng. The famous psychologist Pavlov discovered that our brain is capable of ________ _____________ learning.
2028.eng. What this means for the process of persuasion is that we can create an emotional state in someone and then create a stimulus that, when repeated by us, they will immediately experience the emotions again.
2029.eng. Anchoring is based on eliciting a state in someone and then providing a unique stimulus that makes an association in their mind between your stimulus and their emotional response.
2030.eng. The procedure is:
2031.eng. 1- Elicit a state in a person
2032.eng. 2- At the peak of their emotional response, set your anchor.
2033.eng. 3- Calibrate closely to their state so you can see if you did it right.
2034.eng. 4- Let go of your anchor before their emotional state subsides.
2035.eng. 5- Test the state.
2036.eng. 6- Leverage the anchor by firing it when you want them to have that response to what you say.
2037.eng. You can make an anchor covert by anchoring in one of the coding systems that the person _____ _______ in right then.
2038.eng. How do you get rid of an anchor?
2039.eng. _________ it with another anchor of at least as much emotional strength.
2040.eng. Question:
2041.eng. How long does an anchor last?
2042.eng. Answer:
2043.eng. Until a __________ emotion is collapsed into the anchored one.
2044.eng. You can increase the power and longevity of an anchor by:
2045.eng. 1- Anchoring in as many of the rep systems as possible.
2046.eng. You have to determine if this is advisable based on your need for covertness.
2047.eng. 2- Firing the anchor repeatedly.
2048.eng. 3- Anchoring at the peak of the emotional state.
2049.eng. 4- Stacking other similar and beneficial emotional states together.
2050.eng. The Illusion of Choice.
2051.eng. Where single binds create a mental bind in the mind of the listener, double binds create the illusion of choice.
2052.eng. With this pattern, you'll be able to:
2053.eng. #
2054.eng. - Create the illusion of choice
2055.eng. - Use that illusion to install suggestions
2056.eng. - Hide your use of "illusion" so that it's unrecognizable
2057.eng. - Begin learning to use "controlled confusion" to install suggestions.
2058.eng. Double Binds are sentences that give the ___________________ of choice.
2059.eng. You give two "choice", where either choice they choose, they will end up doing what you want or having the thought you want them to have.
2060.eng. How to Make Double Binds Effective.
2061.eng. 1- Be sure to have gained ____________ before using these.
2062.eng. Even a little is enough.
2063.eng. 2- Use a ________________ from the mental to the physical.
2064.eng. It is always best to bind a person's _____________ then work progressively toward binding physical movements, such as signing the contract, etc.
2065.eng. (NOTE:
2066.eng. You can bind them into signing right from the first if you bind them to making the decision, not the physical action of signing)!
2067.eng. 3- You must deliver these in a meaningful way, as if what you said actually made sense.
2068.eng. This is very important!
2069.eng. The Structure of Binds.
2070.eng. The formal structure of binds is:
2071.eng. X (choice) or Y (choice) where either choice is basically the same, only worded differently.
2072.eng. Example:
2073.eng. So far you have been learning different ways to speak indirectly to people to make it easier for them to do what you want them to do and as you continue to learn and use these patterns, will you find them useful in your daily work and personal life or will you simply integrate them into your behavior?
2074.eng. 1- What is the bind?
2075.eng. 2- How do the embedded commands support the bind?
2076.eng. 3- Notice the pacing and leading.
2077.eng. What are the pace(s) and lead(s)?
2078.eng. Now, come up with five or more examples of double binds that would be useful for you to use.
2079.eng. Examples:
2080.eng. Learn or Understand, Buy now or Decide to do this, Desire this or Be compelled to get it, Be happy or Experience excitement, etc.
2081.eng. Do not write the complete sentence yet, only the bind itself.
2082.eng. Now, put each of the above binds into sentences that fit the context of where you'd like to use them:
2083.eng.
2084.eng. How to Hide a Double Bind Hiding a double bind gives binds extraordinary power.
2085.eng. When you hide a double bind, it makes the person you're communicating with not notice or hear that you have used one.
2086.eng. This is one of the _____________ _______________ tactics that you will come to love!
2087.eng. The rule is:
2088.eng. When a person becomes confused, they will accept the first __________ _______________ that is given as a means of pulling themselves out of confusion.
2089.eng. The structure for using this is the same as before except at the end of the double bind you don't stop -- you keep talking and ask a question.
2090.eng. The Structure of a Double Bind.
2091.eng. The structure is like this:
2092.eng. Sentence.
2093.eng. .
2094.eng. .
2095.eng. Double Bind.
2096.eng. .
2097.eng. .
2098.eng. Sentence.
2099.eng. .
2100.eng. .
2101.eng. Question The double bind is sandwiched between the structure of the sentence and a question is used at the end.
2102.eng. Thus, the double bind provides the ________________ and the question provides the _______________ _______ __________________ that the person needs to come back to reality.
2103.eng. Therefore, once a person answers the question at the end of a hidden double bind, they come back to reality and immediately the bind is accepted by the unconscious.
2104.eng. Isn't that neat?
2105.eng. !
2106.eng. Example:
2107.eng. (I'll use the same example as I used to demonstrate double binds but I'll add to it to make it hidden).
2108.eng. So far you have been learning different ways to speak indirectly to people to make it easier for them to do what you want them to do and as you continue to learn and use these patterns will you find them useful in your daily work and personal life or will you simply integrate them into your behavior because I have found that speaking indirectly can also be a more polite way to communicate with others.
2109.eng. Did you know that this is the way the Japanese communicate?
2110.eng. 1- How does hiding the bind affect you?
2111.eng. 2- How did you feel after you answered the question about the Japanese?
2112.eng. Now take three of the sentences you just wrote and put them into the hidden double bind format:
2113.eng.
2114.eng. Conditional Binds This pattern is in the family of cause and effect patterns.
2115.eng. All cause and effect patterns are in a greater family called inductive logic.
2116.eng. Inductive logic is the opposite of deductive logic.
2117.eng. The conditional bind pattern derives its name from the fact that it works on the condition that the first side of the bind (the "if" side) is valid.
2118.eng. If it is valid then the second half is valid.
2119.eng. Based on what you know so far, these are easy to learn and use -- as well as being very powerful.
2120.eng. Example:
2121.eng. Mr.
2122.eng. Smith, we're at the house right here that I told you about.
2123.eng. Before you go inside I want to tell you this.
2124.eng. If the first thought that goes through your mind, right as you step through the door is, "This is a perfect home for me," then you'll realize that not only should you buy it, but you will be very happy living here, just as you have dreamed.
2125.eng. If you have doubts about your ability to commit to what it takes to improve your persuasion skills by enrolling in this course, then you'll understand that it is perfect for you, in that you will get the skills that you most need.
2126.eng. Are there any more considerations you need answered before you enroll now and start the process of experiencing the relief that comes when you take steps like these to secure your future?
2127.eng. Before we get started and by way of creating an overall way to look at all we are going to do together today, let me ask you this.
2128.eng. Do you know what it's like, right now when you begin to believe strongly that something is right for you?
2129.eng. You know, like when it's so right that you all of a sudden come upon the realization that you should be participating?
2130.eng. [If yes] Then as a result of that, you understand how my discussion of cellular phones will be affecting you as we talk together.
2131.eng. Now, which model are you interested in?
2132.eng. Now, write three sentences that use conditional binds.
2133.eng. One sentence should also contain a single bind.
2134.eng.
2135.eng. NOTES.
2136.eng.
2137.eng. Specific Questioning Tactics.
2138.eng. "While I'm sure that you are familiar with the notion that, 'the map is not the territory,' I'm wondering if you have fully realized that, as human beings, we will forever experience on ly the map and not the territory.
2139.eng. We but alter maps; that is, we change people's subjective experience of the world, not the world.
2140.eng. " -- Leslie Cameron Bandler There are three basic human modeling principles.
2141.eng. Distortion .
2142.eng. .
2143.eng. .
2144.eng. Generalization .
2145.eng. .
2146.eng. .
2147.eng. Deletion.
2148.eng. Distortion Distortion is the process whereby we are able to shift our sensory data to make different kinds of sense out of the same thing.
2149.eng. This is the way in which we plan.
2150.eng. We take the sensory data that we have right now and distort it by imagining what will happen in the future if we do X or Y.
2151.eng. Distortion is what allows us to construct things.
2152.eng. There are three types of distortion that occur:
2153.eng. 1- Lost performatives
2154.eng. 2- Mind reading.
2155.eng. 3- Cause and effect Lost Performative Lost performative occurs when you talk like everybody has the same model of the world as you.
2156.eng. do.
2157.eng. If you say, "It's wrong to cheat," or, "You should treat others the way you would like to be treated," you are violating the lost performative rule.
2158.eng. The problem with this is that people don't often realize that it is their model of the world that is causing them to make these statements.
2159.eng. They are dissociated from what they are saying.
2160.eng. In other words, they are not taking ownership of what they are saying.
2161.eng. The challenge for this is:
2162.eng. "According to whom?
2163.eng. " or "Who says?
2164.eng. " This process must take place early on in a conversation and especially in handling an objection so that they are willing to take ownership for what they say.
2165.eng. They must understand that it is their model of the world they are referring to, not a general belief that the whole world believes in.
2166.eng. Therefore, statements like, "A person has to do what is right!
2167.eng. " or "It's always wise to think something over for a while before buying," can be challenged with a response like, "According to whom?
2168.eng. " or "Who says?
2169.eng. " Remember to stay in rapport while using this material.
2170.eng. Mind Reading Mind Reading is when someone claims to know what someone else is thinking or feeling without having direct sensory evidence.
2171.eng. Sentences like, "He doesn't like me," or, "I know I'm not wanted here," are the types of sentences we're talking about.
2172.eng. The challenge for this is:
2173.eng. How do you know?
2174.eng. That's Incredible!
2175.eng. This pattern can be used to challenge how a person knows anything!
2176.eng. If a person says, "I think I should just wait before I make a decision," you could say, "How do you know?
2177.eng. " If they say it's just a feeling, you can say, "How do you know that's a feeling that tells you to wait?
2178.eng. Perhaps it is a feeling of anticipation of going ahead.
2179.eng. As you recognize it for what it is, NOW, don't you feel better?
2180.eng. " This is an incredible pattern!
2181.eng. Cause and Effect Cause and Effect is a statement that states some action by one person that makes another person do, think, or feel something.
2182.eng. This is often difficult for people to get, however since you have already studied cause and effect patterns, this will come easy for you.
2183.eng. The reason that it is often difficult is that our society supports the belief that if a person says or does something to you then they have caused you to have a particular feeling or response.
2184.eng. This also presupposes that you have no control over your own emotions and actions, that you simply respond to whatever is going on around you.
2185.eng. Obviously, this is not true.
2186.eng. Sentences like, "They make me mad when they treat me like that!
2187.eng. " or, "I can't buy now because I have to look around more," are what we are talking about for the cause and effect pattern.
2188.eng. The challenge for this is:
2189.eng. How does X cause Y?
2190.eng. How does some behavior or X person cause you to choose to Y?
2191.eng. Generalization Generalization is the process we use to create structure in our lives.
2192.eng. All knowledge and science is based on generalization.
2193.eng. There are two types of generalization that occur:
2194.eng. 1- Modal Operators
2195.eng. 2- Universal Quantifiers Modal Operators Modal Operators are what we use to express the rules that we live by.
2196.eng. We'll deal with two types of Modal operators.
2197.eng. #
2198.eng. - Modal operators of necessity such as:
2199.eng. have to, ought to, should, need to, must
2200.eng. - Modal operators of possibility such as:
2201.eng. impossible, unable, mustn't, can't How Modal Operators Remove Choice Modal operators demonstrate the limits of the speaker's model.
2202.eng. Often you will hear words like "just" or "it's only that", etc.
2203.eng. The challenge for modal operators is:
2204.eng. Just suppose you can.
2205.eng. What would happen if you did / did not?
2206.eng. Universal Quantifiers Universal Quantifiers are words that take an experience and generalize it into all experiences.
2207.eng. For example, if a person tried to sell something once and it didn't work, he might generalize that he couldn't ever sell anything.
2208.eng. Words like:
2209.eng. all, every, everybody, no one, each, etc.
2210.eng. , will tip you off to a universal quantifier being used.
2211.eng. The challenge for Universal Quantifiers is:
2212.eng. Use the same word as a challenge.
2213.eng. Like, ALL?
2214.eng. Reverse what is said and put it in their words.
2215.eng. Examples of challenging Universal quantifiers.
2216.eng. "No one pays that much for this.
2217.eng. " You reply, "No one?
2218.eng. You're sure that no one has paid this much?
2219.eng. " "Everyone knows that you shouldn't do that.
2220.eng. " You reply, "What is it that you know you shouldn't do?
2221.eng. " Deletion Deletion is the result of paying attention to one set of information that automatically causes a person to delete certain other information.
2222.eng. We all have seven plus or minus two (between 5 and 9) slots of information available to us at any given point in time.
2223.eng. As a result, when we orient our attention to anything, it automatically causes us to both be aware of what we are orienting our attention to and to delete what else is happening.
2224.eng. There are four types of deletion that occur:
2225.eng. 1- Nominalization.
2226.eng. 2- Unspecified Verbs
2227.eng. 3- Lack of Referential Index 4- Simple Deletion Nominalization Nominalization is what happens when you take a process and turn it into a thing.
2228.eng. It is where a process becomes static and unchanging.
2229.eng. Processes by definition are changing, evolving.
2230.eng. Nominalizations are verbs that have been turned into nouns.
2231.eng. For example, the word "deciding" is a verb, the word "decision" is a noun.
2232.eng. One of the ways to tell it is a noun is that it ends in, "ion.
2233.eng. " To break nominalizations, you have to change it back into a verb.
2234.eng. The challenge for this is similar to Unspecified Verbs:
2235.eng. How specifically [state the noun as a verb]?
2236.eng. Example:
2237.eng. "That decision is interesting.
2238.eng. " You respond with, "How, specifically are you deciding?
2239.eng. " "Our association with our sales team needs to be changed.
2240.eng. " You respond with, "How specifically are you currently associating?
2241.eng. " The Test for Nominalizations.
2242.eng. Test 1 Ask yourself if it fits in a wheelbarrow.
2243.eng. If it does not, then it is a nominalization.
2244.eng. Example:
2245.eng. A rock (which is a noun) fits in a wheelbarrow.
2246.eng. A relationship does not.
2247.eng. Therefore, a relationship is a nominalization.
2248.eng. Test 2 Say the phrase, "An ongoing [insert the suspected word here].
2249.eng. " If it makes sense, then it is a nominalization.
2250.eng. Example:
2251.eng. An ongoing decision makes sense and therefore it is a nominalization.
2252.eng. An ongoing computer does not make sense and therefore is not a nominalization.
2253.eng. Unspecified Verbs Unspecified Verbs are descriptions that do not supply enough information.
2254.eng. It's real easy to go.
2255.eng. way overboard with this.
2256.eng. Remember that the most important information to challenge is the Distortions and the Deletions.
2257.eng. The challenge for this is:
2258.eng. How specifically ___________________.
2259.eng. Example:
2260.eng. "I was cheated.
2261.eng. " You reply with, "How specifically were you cheated?
2262.eng. " "I have to make more sales.
2263.eng. " You reply with, "How specifically will you make more sales?
2264.eng. " "I'm not comfortable with this.
2265.eng. " You reply with, "How specifically are you not comfortable?
2266.eng. " Lack of Referential Index Lack of referential index is when a person deletes who is being referred to.
2267.eng. This also sounds.
2268.eng. vague and ambiguous.
2269.eng. The challenge for this is:
2270.eng. Who specifically or What specifically ___________________.
2271.eng. Example:
2272.eng. "All our competition is trying to get that account.
2273.eng. " You reply with, "Who specifically of our competition is trying to get the account?
2274.eng. " "People should respect the work I do.
2275.eng. " You reply with, "Who specifically should respect the work you do?
2276.eng. " "They need to learn how to do their job.
2277.eng. " You reply with, "Who specifically needs to learn how to do their job?
2278.eng. " Simple Deletion.
2279.eng. Simple deletion is the "catch all" category that is used to recover any other deletions that exist.
2280.eng. The challenge for this is:
2281.eng. Who(m) or what specifically ___________________.
2282.eng. Example:
2283.eng. "I'm concerned.
2284.eng. " You reply with, "What specifically is concerning you?
2285.eng. " "He hurt me.
2286.eng. " You reply with, "Who specifically hurt you?
2287.eng. " Time-Released Suggestions This is the technique that will enable you to make sure that once you secure a commitment or agreement to something, they won't back out.
2288.eng. It practically eliminates "buyer's remorse" in most situations.
2289.eng. Here's how it works:
2290.eng. 1- Get a commitment to something.
2291.eng. 2- Create an arbitrary situation in the future where they might not be as excited with their commitment as they are now.
2292.eng. 3- Ask them what will cause them to keep their commitment anyway.
2293.eng. You can also do this with any idea you want to impress upon someone.
2294.eng. The way this works is to:
2295.eng. 1- Give a suggestion that you want the person to carry out.
2296.eng. 2- Identify in your mind a time in the future that you want to remind the person of this suggestion.
2297.eng. 3- Tell the person that when this time in the future happens, they will automatically remember this suggestion.
2298.eng. It's very important to do this regularly when you get a commitment or agreement.
2299.eng. This will save you much heartache!
2300.eng. Closing.
2301.eng. The final patterns I'd like to give you are my two favorite closes.
2302.eng. I use them both with great success.
2303.eng. On this subject, I hope by now, you realize that there is nothing better than a good presentation to help you secure any agreement -- whether you are negotiating, selling, speaking or writing.
2304.eng. These two patterns are especially helpful in a "sales" context.
2305.eng. Closing Pattern #1.
2306.eng. It goes like this.
2307.eng. After you have completed your presentation and it's time to secure the agreement, ask:
2308.eng. Is there anything else you need to know in order to go ahead?
2309.eng. This works well because in this case, a "No" really means "Yes!
2310.eng. " Also, if they say, "Yes," then you still are in there and can get to the bottom line.
2311.eng. Either way, you haven't lost the sale.
2312.eng. Closing Pattern #2.
2313.eng. Again, after you have completed your presentation and it's time to secure the agreement, do the following:
2314.eng. 1- Summarize why you are there.
2315.eng. "We got together today because---”
2316.eng. 2- Say, "You decided to take care of [handle, fix, do something, etc.
2317.eng. ] [feed in their criteria].
2318.eng. "
2319.eng. 3- Say, "I'd like to [enroll you, schedule our first meeting, ship the product, etc.
2320.eng. ] for all the obvious reasons.
2321.eng. "
2322.eng. 4- Ask, "Is this what you'd like to do?
2323.eng. " That's all there is to it!
2324.eng. Usually, people will ask you how they can get involved with whatever you're doing if you have presented what you do well enough.
2325.eng. Table of Contents.
2326.eng. FIRST THINGS FIRST.
2327.eng. RAPPORT THROUGH PHYSIOLOGY.
2328.eng. THREE WAYS TO PACE A PERSON'S NON-VERBAL BEHAVIOR.
2329.eng. THINGS YOU CAN MATCH WHEN PACING.
2330.eng. PACING & LEADING.
2331.eng. CALIBRATION / SENSORY ACUITY.
2332.eng. Three Rules For Successful Communication.
2333.eng. VERBAL RAPPORT.
2334.eng. REPRESENTATIONAL SYSTEMS.
2335.eng. The Three Main Coding Systems.
2336.eng. WHAT THE EYES TELL US ABOUT REPRESENTATIONAL SYSTEMS.
2337.eng. ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ON RAPPORT.
2338.eng. BACKTRACKING VERBAL RESPONSES.
2339.eng. PACING MOODS, OPINIONS AND BELIEFS.
2340.eng. PROCESS VS.
2341.eng. CONTENT.
2342.eng. WHAT TO LISTEN TO.
2343.eng. THE 18 MOST POWERFUL WORDS FOR PERSUASION (AND HOW TO USE THEM).
2344.eng. AWARENESS PATTERN.
2345.eng. TEMPORAL PATTERN.
2346.eng. SPATIAL CATEGORY.
2347.eng. CAUSE AND EFFECT CATEGORY.
2348.eng. QUOTES PATTERN.
2349.eng. IMPLIED CAUSE & EFFECT.
2350.eng. COMMANDS CATEGORY.
2351.eng. CRITERIA.
2352.eng. THE EIGHT MOST DANGEROUS WORDS.
2353.eng. BUT.
2354.eng. TRY.
2355.eng. IF.
2356.eng. MIGHT.
2357.eng. WOULD HAVE, COULD HAVE, SHOULD HAVE.
2358.eng. CAN'T.
2359.eng. VERBAL PACING AND LEADING.
2360.eng. PACING.
2361.eng. LEADING.
2362.eng. HIDDEN DIRECTIVES.
2363.eng. ANALOGICAL MARKING.
2364.eng. How to Mark Off Commands.
2365.eng. POSTURING FOR SUCCESS.
2366.eng. CONVERSATIONAL POSTULATES.
2367.eng. HIDDEN QUESTIONS.
2368.eng. BINDS.
2369.eng. SINGLE BINDS.
2370.eng. ADVANCED USES OF BINDS.
2371.eng. CONTROLLING EMOTIONS.
2372.eng. USEFUL STATES TO ELICIT.
2373.eng. ANCHORING.
2374.eng. THE ILLUSION OF CHOICE.
2375.eng. HOW TO MAKE DOUBLE BINDS EFFECTIVE.
2376.eng. THE STRUCTURE OF BINDS.
2377.eng. HOW TO HIDE A DOUBLE BIND.
2378.eng. The Structure of a Double Bind.
2379.eng. CONDITIONAL BINDS.
2380.eng. SPECIFIC QUESTIONING TACTICS.
2381.eng. DISTORTION.
2382.eng. Lost Performative.
2383.eng. Mind Reading.
2384.eng. Cause and Effect.
2385.eng. GENERALIZATION.
2386.eng. Modal Operators.
2387.eng. How Modal Operators Remove Choice.
2388.eng. Universal Quantifiers.
2389.eng. DELETION.
2390.eng. Nominalization.
2391.eng. The Test for Nominalizations.
2392.eng. Unspecified Verbs.
2393.eng. Lack of Referential Index.
2394.eng. Simple Deletion.
2395.eng. TIME-RELEASED SUGGESTIONS.
2396.eng. CLOSING.
2397.eng. CLOSING PATTERN #1-.
2398.eng. CLOSING PATTERN #2-.
